Sunday, January 22, 2012

Tasted Like Chicken

End note regarding our birds, Tommy and Aja Remastered.  

They drove me bonkers so we gave them to a local Montessori School teacher I know.  Kinda like Paddington Bear, a whole classroom of kids can now look after them. And our house is so much cleaner!

I didn't want you to think we just disposed of them in some horribly unforgiving manner (like at 400 degrees for 30 minutes). Actually I kinda like them. Until they started squawking. Incessantly. With no discernible tunes or prose to admire.  Not even a few notes of 'Tommy'... or those infamous five notes from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Tommy and Aja Remastered taught me so many valuable lessons, though... 

1. Own a Dyson.  Especially if you have black carpet/rugs within ten feet of the cage.

2. Relationships are hard. Birds hurt.  The bite, they squeeze, they scratch your delicate hands to shreds.  When all you want to do is pet them.  "Here, birdie birdie birdie... shit!" is not a great way to start a relationship.  

3. Be the last one to leave the house in the morning or my husband will leave the radio turned on for them.  Talk Radio. All day.  No wonder they were so cranky.

4. If you're buying a pet just to name it something cool, get a fish. Or name all the woodland creatures in your back yard.  It's amazing how quickly Mr. Skunk will become a regular and Mama Dear will bring friends.  You can name the whole tribe... after dead rock stars or South Park characters.  They like that.

5. The golden rule... stay the hell out of PetSmart.

So, thank you James and Virginia, and Elizabeth Anne Clune Montessori School in Ithaca, for giving them what I could not... Budgie Love.

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