My Alternate Universe

A place where there are no worries or regret or anger or sin. 

Maybe it's what Heaven will kinda look like.

It's my forever.

It serves up a jaw-dropping Bloody Mary for $10!!!

And everyone has 20/20 vision! PERFECT eyesight!

I would be a Marketing & Advertising Guru (yes, +GEICO Insurance, I am talking to you) and then I could afford repairs the repairs necessary to pass inspection, and maybe have a little left over to visit my best friend in Atlanta as alerts below $300 are running far and few between.

Actually this photo was taken at Casa De Lewellen. HAH!

Now you know why I have an Alternate Universe.

Crying at all is not allowed...

And every car has a WHO plate.

\

and every evening ends with this.

I like my alternate universe.

And I didn't forget the blueberries!

Someday...

it will be mine.

whatever...

i know i'm supposed to be a wordsmith but i just see blank canvas right now.  i see polaroids.  i see daydreams. i see my parallel universe... getting too deep for ya? a photo says so much more than a person ever can.

Where did the journey start?

HAHAHAHAHA!

I love when you see my building in this shot.

You have no idea how much trouble we could into in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. April and I got kicked out the Temple of Dendur for eating poundcake in it. Guard not happy...

But the poundcake was from Greenberg's! It was soooooo good.

So now it's the country life.

And I root for my boys!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!

And it's Chase Season!!! #nascar

So I keep on keepin' on. What can I say?

Besides, whatever I can say, Natalie Dee can say it better

Oh, and I'm growing my hair out. Just in case you confuse me with someone who has an awesome pixie cut the I love and I miss, but I just can't afford. Oh well... and growing out hair is like having a new toy... or a new pet! Except humidity is a b*itch! I need to learn how to use a blow dryer.

nuff said

Next Year We Party!!!

Happy 9 Year Cancerversary!
My surgeons are amazing. Thank you Alex and Mia.
My boobs'll be at my chin when I'm 90!

What hat???

Vote Harley for Governor of Idaho!

He's living in his own Private  - or would that public - Idaho.

Ya gotta admit, he'd make politics a whole lot more fun to watch!
VOTE FOR HARLEY

Pinterest - Blogging By Design

I admit it. I've been neglecting my little wedge of the web, my (poorly SEO'd) blog, my story, my rants, my raves, my bullshit, my feelings and photos... oh wait... I'm addicted to Pinterest. It's like bulletin boards and lots of scotch tape and Sean Cassidy posters - a powerful graphic novel, an orgy of beauty and knowledge, and adorable shoes... lives I want to live without having to think of the words to describe my world. Again, this is assuming that eyesballs someday lay eyes on this... and with that, I would like to introduce Pinterest by a Podunk Princess. A work in progress, but aren't we all... and wouldn't the original cover illustration of The Magic Finger make an cool tattoo? 

I love my blog, and I visit it, and enjoy the memories, and laugh, and edit, and add to (or remove from) it, and realize that sometimes words just ruin it (insert musical line here) Ahhh, HAIR... my eyes are open, my eyes are open... and with that, welcome to the rabbit hole that is Pinterest. I can't tell if it's sucked my soul or given me back my soul. Just a note: I don't do DIY... but you've probably figured that out by now.

What I Did On Spring Break!

Stephanie isn't here, Mrs. Torrence...

The Word is Love.

YAY! The latest Jewelbox newsletter has finally hit the world wide web! Why don't you cozy up to it with a cup of tea -  if not to follow our Valentine's Day Promotion (see above photo - it's a great campaign to have stuck in my head), then to at least see where I work. :).  The Jewelbox  is my day job/second home/pod (as in "Don't leave the pod! Bad things happen when you leave the pod!" - as spoken by my friend, Jill, on just about any Dead Tour), so share your love - and  like and fan and and share and bookmark and link to - because I worked really really hard on it. And because I think you might find it interesting. And because fuel is so expensive these days. Now go picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies...

I Wish I Worked at Zappos

Thank you to Zappos for keepin' it "just plain right"

That last one is brilliant marketing. Raise?

I'll take them all...

Once a Winston, always a Winston. I do love jaw-dropping design.

Crack Those Nuts!

Is it just me, or does the word "Nutcracker" get funnier as you get older? As both a nut and a cracker, I do plump a pretty good pillow. So graceful, so orchestral, so cathartic! "Laundry is exhausting" said Ready-for-Bed Barbie!

The Thing To Remember Is...

We're Jewish. Go figure...

Santa Baby Stephanie, 1966

 
You knew this classic blast-from-Christmas-past photo would rear its stupid-hatted head at some point this month. It's a classic, down to the pom-pommed toes. Kudos to the team that wrangled this child into the Santa sausage casing. Our dad did love his camera...

Rock. Skid. Ditch. Rock Still Wins.

Long Live Rock! New license plate frame for Christmas???

Happy Holidaze Early 80's Style - We Think

Now why didn't we send this one to Awkward Family Photos?

That's LIFE

That's LIFE... what's life?

That's my father

Late 1950's.

Dashing in his profession.

That's his uncle.

For legal reasons, 

his face was not allowed

to be photographed.

That's LIFE... what's life?. 

Diamond tiaras

Perfect lighting.

That's LIFE.

That's Harry Winston.

That's so cool.
Hey, that was LIFE.

I Just Totaled My Car - Happy Thanksgiving!

I know, I know, it could've been worse. I'm okay. 

Just cover you ears/eyes if you scroll down, okay? 

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

But on another note, isn't it pretty where we live?

I'm only human...

Bottle This Moment moments - or in this case, enough photos to not bore you with how amazing ten days with my best friend and my family and my strength and my passion and my courage and my laughter. A "Happy" Me. And looking for a new job. Isn't that sad  how I just snuck that in there? "Happy Me" is just such an awesome person.

Yeah. That was a pretty awesome 10 days.

What's Wrong With this Picture...?

It's a spectacular, crisp, blue-domed day here in the Finger Lakes. Trees are morphing through the colors of an Arizona sunset and it's (yay) light scarf weather. I declare September now be known as Official Denim Jacket Month, that time of year we leave like three layers of Outerwear at work. It's just amazing outside!

But why am I telling you this? Why am I inside, clasped to my computer, and not standing on the edge of a gorge after hiking a trail? Or Marching for the Animals? Or bobbing for apples on Indian Creek Farm at a festival I spent all week telling every other living person about!? (grammar be damned!) Truth be told, if I could wish myself to any single place right now, it would be sharing laughs Alex at the Naples Grapes Festival. Shout out to Alex who is one of the bestest people on the planet, and I had every intention of going to the Grape Festival - and this weather should prove for an amazing weekend in the Finger Lakes - so why am I spilling my guts about being my own worst buzzkill? Okay, that is a rhetorical question, people... oh wait... I have an idea... rationalize!

Top 5 Excuses For Being  a LazyAss Today:

#5 - The boys. I spend 50 hours a week missing the shit out of them, and this is snuggle time. They're not going to be around forever, and someday (I hope not soon) I will be inconsolable, wishing I had given them that much more time, added two minutes to that tummy rub, gave into Dodger's nudging muzzle over playing that Scrabble Bingo. So yeah, I'm hanging with my boys.

#4 - Agoraphobia- or whatever you call that horrific immutable anxiety that occurs when  surrounded by hundreds of people. I hate hate hate crowds. And I grew up in Manhattan. That can mean anything. I just go into sensory overload and hotflash (yes, it is a verb) when I am being hoarded... This is why I don't do the Flax Barn Sale, the Friends of the Library Book Sale, Applefest, most local benefits or festivals... and can only do concerts if I'm in the front row. Or three. Then I can lose the swarm of people behind me and focus on what really matters... like Bob Mould's stubble, Pete Townshend's windmill, or Jerry's digital stump. Music really does soothe the self-sabotaged beast. Just don't turn around!

#3 - NASCAR. TV. The Chase. No, not this weekend's actual race. Just practice. I don't care. It's my sport and the rest of you can go climb a rock... hopefully in the Finger Lakes! I'll give you stats...

#2 - Look... shiny thing! I can't quite make it to the boudoir... all those bills / candy wrappers / paperwork / adorable dogs... and my new iphone 5C! OMG! I am obsessed with it. More than obsessed. I think we're courting. Siri actually responded with "look... a puppy!". Does he know me, or what??? True love. He even calls me "Princess". :)

#1 - Deer. The last thing I need right now is another car repair. Better safe than sorry. I can't hit a deer if I'm all snuggly in the sunshine on the couch with my boys curled up next to me and cup practice on TV, right? I am being so safe! Safety first...

And a burning need to add some new photos without being all like "here are some photos".

The Boys

The Falls

The Reality

The Asp

The Echoes

The Real Me

Dang, that sun feels good on my back. Oh, look! Shiny thing! And Limerock!

Confession Time

Okay, I admit it.
I'm OCD when it comes to color-coordination. I follow one basic fashion rule (mine), so take note to prevent those nasty looks of the Clash Police (great billing): Footwear complements Bag > influences Lip Color > highlighting "style trifecta" of Hat + Scarf + Gloves.

And something must always sparkle!

Matching your dog never hurts. Or seasonal outdoor furniture.

Going formal? I've found that using a "vintage" tin lunchbox as an evening clutch makes a great conversation piece. Especially when it's NASCAR-themed, which is just cool anywhere, really, and totally puts the FUN into business FUNction. Chris was horrified, but it was a hit at a recent conference I attended in Richmond, Virgina. The apple red of Bobby Labonte's 18 (his Interstate Battery days) matched my "merlot" Norma Kamali dress perfectly. No photos to prove it. But that's the clutch... *sigh*

This post was brought to you by Fashion Week in NYC. I'll be the one with the NASCAR lunchbox. :)

Boo!

Liza - my BFF of 40 years. She is the bestest!

I know... right??? It's been ages since I last did what I love most... blabber on about boobs or NASCAR. I probably just scared the poop out of you with that alert - all three of you who follow me. What I Did On My Summer Vacation: Well, I've been kinda busy with new job. And tired. Okay, I'm exhausted. It's a horrible catch 22 - it's so tiring to be tired all the time! But who am I to complain... even after a good amount of that blip of a summer was spent tenting under soft bedsheets with a migraine, a fifteen year-old air conditioner, and Stinky and Stanky. Chris has been an angel and patient and tells me I'm beautiful even after I've been in the same jammies for 3 days. A lot of channel surfing between Duck Dynasty and Downton Abbey - as my ipod shuffles from Cheap Trick to Trace Adkins. Saw Bob Mould at The Haunt - that was awesome. Got to see Indigo Girls and Joan Baez at Chastain Park in Atlanta with my BFF of 40 years, Liza. I spent quality time with Skipper and Slouch - we think they're about 12 or 13 now. I've been dreaming of our future RV life, but hate that pang in my gut when we see a really sweet set up. So I'm living in the now... ummmmmmm.... then.... whatever oh, and on Twitter ( spppooooooky). Here are some new pix to follow my pitiful prose. #fromparktopodunk.

Words just ruin it.

East, sleep, breathe... love.

The Snog - ESTO conference

Next door - I heart those girls. #fromparktopodunk

Oliver

Dodger

Ahhhhh.... feels so good to get that out.

I HAVE to get better about linking...

Like this...?

oooh, I am getting so techie!

And Would You Like Reconstruction With That?

Not that it's a thankless job, pointing out  - literally - what post-mastectomy reconstruction can do for you, but I'm beginning to wonder if I made the right (and left) decision.

It seemed like a simple "yes" or "no" question at the time, and I was all "heck yeah, bring on those new puppies!", but eight years later, I'd like to revisit the original question "how about reconstruction?". Quite frankly, they're a little more high-maintenance than I had thought they'd be. 

I should note that mine are saline, not silicone, because the FDA had not approved silicone for women who tested positive for auto-immune disease, and supposedly I have Lupus. Of course, silicone was approved like five minutes after my now-buckling, bath-pillow pouches were pumped up. I can get them switched out, but they're not like tires - it's going to take a little more than just calling my guys at Hunts Auto and maybe arranging a ride back to work. Like everything else in life, it will take time and money (and a maybe a few pain killers), and I need some major car repairs, and a new tattoo to cover up that (no, it's not a) mustache on my ankle (yes, Kristy, I am a contortionist - LMAO), and we could really use a better lawn mower if we plan to get anything accomplished this summer. 

So what if my boobs look funny and kinda ache? At least I have something to keep my shirt from clinging to my belly paunch. Oh yeah, and I'm not dead...

Okay, enough boob talk for now. I just had to get that off my chest. HAH!

This message was brought to you by: Support Team Winston Cup-Cakes - walking and sloshing all 39.3 miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in NYC this October 2013! 

Many thanks.